Art keeps me sane

By Tirishini Nair

Maisarah Mazian shares her experience in drawing.

“To me art means an act of self-expression”

The name is Maisarah Mazian. I am 24 this year. I am beyond words and thankful for this opportunity given by FamilyTies to share a few of my life experiences with whoever this message may reach to. I have always found art as a comforting tool for me to walk through the hurdles in my life. My art is a work that is always colorful and pretty, but unfortunately life is not that colorful always.

I started learning all this creative drawing and coloring at a very young age and I believe I inherited it from my parents because they both are very artistic and talented. When I was young, I used to watch my dad draw and at some point, I used to envy at how he could draw prefect princess which is way better than my attempts. My mom used to get us watercolors and she will often have painting sessions with us.

To me art means an act of self-expression. It is how I express my feelings through my drawing that is why I find comfort in it. People would think it is a hobby, but I would not really call it a hobby because I do not really allocate time to draw unless I feel like expressing myself when I go through tough days in life. However, I spend money on art supplies, and it makes me so happy when I can purchase something colorful like paints or sketchbooks. To be honest, I take art as a form of distraction in life, it drives my attention away from reality and I will only use that time to focus on what I want to express.

My arts are so raw and intimate that has its own meaning to how I was feeling when I was creating that piece.

I have been living on my own for more than a year now away from my parents. The pandemic lockdown earlier this year has put me through a tough phase and half the time I was going insane. I do not really have a close bond with my family or parents and I rarely talk to them about what is bothering me therefore, I mostly rely on my friends as my support system. I live in a small room filled with my colors, paintings and it is my most safe space for me to truly be myself. There were many days I kept having negative thoughts and a lonely feeling like everyone does not like me. It felt like as if I were the only one living in dark while everyone else is in a brighter place.

One of the art work that drew by Maisarah.

Thankfully, art keeps me sane. When I am painting, I could not care less about how lonely I have been feeling or about any kind of human interaction that I need. I can forgo showering, eating and bathroom breaks just to focus on my paintings. When I could not sleep, or I often overthink then I express my emotions through sketches or painting the whole night till I get tired and eventually fall asleep. I believe visuals and my art can convey a lot of things that words cannot describe. I have few pieces that is very ‘dark’ theme which explains how much I have been overthinking. My arts are so raw and intimate that has its own meaning to how I was feeling when I was creating that piece. I know I am yet to reach a point as an artist but for someone who always had trouble talking about her problems to people, I feel art is the only way I can convey my message.

Every move I make is a way of an improvement. It does not only improve my emotions and mental health but my skills as well.

Over the years, I have greatly invested a lot in my art tools and learnt many new drawing and painting skills as well. Every move I make is a way of an improvement. It does not only improve my emotions and mental health but my skills as well. For now, my expertise is drawing human as a subject and face portraits – I can draw animals too. I call myself expert in this because as a kid I grew up observing things in detail - colors, lines, curves, textures. I pay attention to every little features of humans such as their eyes and nose. It may sound weird, but we humans are all a piece of living art on its own. We are designed differently from the way we smile and we talk. Do you all notice that some people have that tiny curve at the end of their lips or at the middle of their cheeks that we call dimples. Meanwhile, some people have that lines at the end of their eyes when they laugh or smile. It is the small little things that I notice and apply on my drawings.

Maisarah invested a lot in her art tools.

Besides, I have great aims on exploring digital painting, so I am currently learning some of it but trust me nothing beats the feeling of the wet brush on a pristine canvas. I also do acrylics painting and recently I have opened to sell my arts and it has been receiving a good amount of feedback. The price is determined on the size of the acrylic boards and the amount of colors used for the panting. I started this to support myself financially. My self-expression has brought me this far. I used to think people do not like me for someone who likes to keep things to herself, but now they love my drawings, and the demand is getting higher as days goes. I guess it is all a turning point in everyone’s life. Good things take time people say. I did not let my mental health or negative thoughts take control over me. I got through this because I found happiness in my drawings. I believe many kids or people similar my age should find happiness as well or seek for help when they really need it. Do not allow your thoughts to take control over you. Express your emotions through what you love to do. I have been doing it for quite some time now and life has been going good since then.

Express your emotion through what you love to do.