I am Ong. I am 22 years old. I am a girl. I am a Johorean. I am the youngest children in my family. And YES, I am a lesbian. 
    Why I love a girl and not boy? As a preparation to explain this, I keep asking myself why am I different from the normal. I thought I will be asked when I realized my behaviour. But you didn’t. I remember when it happened that day, you blatantly asked me, am I in love with a girl?  I was silent for a while, and admitted it as I didn’t want to lie to you. You slapped me so hard, saying I was a disgrace to you, and this family. As a young girl who was only 14, I was only capable of crying then responding.
Going back to the first trouble I faced, why am I in love with a girl. Although you didn’t want to hear about it, but I still want to explain it to you, and tell you my perplexity and helplessness. You are my parents, the closest person in the world, and I hope to get your understanding, and a hug and telling me that you’re by my side. 

    I realise that I’m different from the others when I was 13-years-old. You may know that a group of young girls will get together and discuss gossips. Their topic often revolves around boys, such as, why is this guy so handsome, who is this guy looking for, that guy changed his hairstyle yesterday, and so on. But I’m not attracted to boys. When they were discussing about boys I was looking at which girl is the most beautiful. I felt weird, and I searched on internet, and found that there were a group of people called LGBT.
“Ong, don’t bother yourself, try to love a boy”, they said.
“I have son, don’t need you to find a daughter-in-law, what I expect from you is to find a husband in the future”, you said.
    After that two years, I noticed that my behaviour is not accepted by people around me. I learned to pretend to be ‘normal’ as all of you taught. I tried to focus on boys. Yes, as you know that, I had a boyfriend when I was 16. But I failed. I cannot accept a boys as my partner no matter physically or mentally. So, I broke up with him and I didn’t find a boyfriend or girlfriend ever since. Find a boyfriend? I can’t accept it. Find a girlfriend? You can’t accept it. All I can do now is to study well, get a job, and take good care of both of you.
    I love you, maa and Paa!